It's done

Jun. 7th, 2009 09:57 pm
randysmith: (Default)
[personal profile] randysmith
(Context for this post is long enough ago that I'll include links: here and here.)

After several months of angsting about it (and wearing some ruts in conversation with poor [ profile] psongster) I have given notice at my job. I tried to do it at the beginning of last month, but my grand-boss requested I wait until I come down there to make it official; that happened the week of May 18th (I report, and work with, a team that's down in Research Triangle Park, NC, not at my site). My last day is July 9th; I'm trying to do as much information (and perspective, and passion) transfer to the rest of the team between now and then as I can. At that point I'm going to take some time off, and start looking for a job again in the fall.

I'm feeling pretty at peace about it at this point; I'm not even feeling all that upset about the layoffs (well, baseline; I can still get upset when specific aspects of them are brought up :-J). In the end, it came down to two things for me: I'm getting to the point of really wanting a change in the work I'm doing, and my local environment is no longer a particular nurturing environment for me. My project team and management is still pretty darn good, as I was reminded on the trip down to RTP. But the comment I made to my grand-boss was that taking the remote assignment had been a stretch for me, somewhat going out on a limb. And it worked well, and I grew a lot doing it. But they sawed the tree away while I was out on the limb :-{.

This is still a somewhat wrenching change for me--I've been at the company nine years now in one way or another, which is more than four times as long as I've been anywhere else. That's partially because I got to change projects within the company several times in that nine years (I'd count seven quite separate, non-overlapping projects to which I made a substantial contribution in that time). And it's partially because (I still believe) it's a substantially better run company than many that are out there, so I got frustrated by bulls**t less, and when I did there was a better than average chance that complaining about the idiocy would actually change something. But nine years is still a very long time, and I'm not having very much internal second guessing about moving on.

I haven't tried to line up a new job yet; I've been unhappy for a while, and I want some time off to rest, and to think about what it is I really want to do next, and look around at the possibilities. There's part of me that's worried that I'm shooting myself in the foot (or higher :-}), by doing this, but that part's gotten quieter over time. I believe the economy in three months will not be so much worse than the current one that I'll not be able to find a job. I may be wrong; I (we) accept that risk. And I'd have to be really wrong for it to become a survival issue.

But my life ... I was going to say it was about to change dramatically, but the truth is that it already has changed. It'll change again on July 9th, but I'm already in a somewhat different place. I don't know what comes next. But I'm looking forward to finding out.
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